Goal setting June 11, 2009

I was so close to my goal. So close. Just a little more and I’d have it already. But as the saying goes, its all too good to be true. Damn straight. It was a lie all along. Right from the start it was just empty words you said. False hope. Do you know the feeling of everything crashing down? A sinking feeling that claws at your heart, telling you everything you did was for nothing. My greatest wish handed to me on a silver platter and the next day, taken away when it was so close, a few inches beyond my grasp. It was all just a game to you, blowing hot and cold. Bringing my feelings high, soaring even. And the next thing I know, dropping it down rock bottom.

Thanks a lot Mum I hate you too.

Is there only hope left. June 3, 2009

I think its amazing the way people can just change in a split second. I mean, one moment you two are like the best of friends, the next she’s like this completely new person that you dont know at all.

Lets call this person Y. One moment she wanted to leave everything behind, yours truly is the one behind her, stopping her from doing the thing she’d regret most and keeping her back. And then a few days later, she becomes this new person you dont recognise. Hanging out with different people, not neccessarily bad but not the usual people, and then you feel like you dont recognise her anymore. You barely talk to her,it’s like she’s a whole new person. What a whole new level of weird. Its getting hard to talk and its a disappointment, cos she’s beginning to lie to you. Tsk Y, what have we done to you? Nothing to deserve you treating us like that. Friends are meant to stick together, but you left us behind for others that aren’t even close? One, we understand. But its beginning to make things awkward. We have no idea how to talk to you so I dont know.

Friends are supposed to stick together, I said. But who knows, time may change everything. Time can mould the bonds formed between friends and turn it into something unrecognisable, even disfigured that you have no idea what is going on.

I dont understand. Why.

In Pandora’s box, the legend goes that the person who opens the box lets everything out and closed it, only to save one. That is hope.